Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz and Big Cass
Leave it to the pre-show to come up with some random, pointless segments. On the bright side, the Dudley Boyz called out New Jersey for being the smelly, disgusting dump that it is. And that oversized cape/bib combo Big Cass was rocking is something I need to be wearing to the gym for all upcoming delt/tricep days. If Enzo wasn't planning on coming back, why did they even run this segment? So Cass could name off every food item on his grocery list? To be reminded that the Dudleys are the most unauthentic looking superstars on the roster? Yo meatloaf, how you doin'? This segment was S-A-W-F-T. Score: 2/10
Pre-Show: Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Jobber
Wait was this a no-disqualification match? I didn't hear the announcers specify that 156 times. But hey now we know that Corbin is a Slipknot fan! A so-so match with Ziggler doing Ziggler things... Selling chops like they're .50 cal bullets. I knew it was going to be bad when he didn't even take his shirt off. How the heck is Ziggler still with the WWE? How does he not want to go somewhere where he doesn't constantly job for up and coming talent or random-ass superstars? Such a waste. I'm not a big Corbin fan... he just doesn't put out the 'menacing' vibe the way the announcers seem to hype about. And what's with all of the unathletic looking superstars all of a sudden?!? Corbin, Dudleyz, Dad-bod Jericho, Owens, anti-leg-day Ambrose... Somewhere Rick Rude is rolling over in his grave. Score: 3.5/10
Tornado Tag Team: The Usos vs Gallows and Anderson
Finally a decent match with some good spots. Gallows and Anderson seemed to work well together given the match type and paired up for some nice one-two punches. I'm not a huge Usos fan but they did a decent job. How do they make those kicks 'pop' like that?! I need to know the secret. Imagine doing that at parties?! Your friends would legit think you kicked the teeth out of someone's skull. By the way, I think I'm slowly turning deaf in one ear. I couldn't tell if the crowd was booing the Usos or if they were going "UUUUUUUUSSSSS". Kind of like at Bruins games when fans yell "TUUUUUUKKK" for Tuukka Rask when they should be booing. Glad Gallows and Anderson won as they needed some credibility. Still not a very extreme match considering it's the Extreme Rules pay per screw. Score: 6/10 ![]()
United States Championship: Kalisto vs. Rusev
So a Mexican guy and a Bulgarian guy have a match for the UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP. Vote Trump. Make the U.S. Title great again. Felt like this should have been a middle-of-Smackdown match. That being said, Rusev is much better off as a singles competitor than part of the League of Nations. I just got the feeling that I've seen this match 100 times over the past few months. Seems like the writers are always throwing Kalisto into these David vs Goliath type matches. Poor kid probably has an Algebra test he needs to be studying for. I'm glad Rusev won and we got at least one dang title change. He should run with the title for awhile and build up some momentum as a singles beast. My guess is we might have another Rusev - Cena feud for the U.S. belt when Cena comes back full time. Lana absolutely MURDERED that dress she was wearing. Score: 5/10 (Lana: 9.9/10)
Tag Team Championship - The New Day vs The Vaudevillains
So we're on our fourth match and I still have yet to see anything that qualifies as 'Extreme'. That being said... New… Day rocks! New… Day rocks! If I could somehow wake up to The New Day theme song and a .gif of Big E doing hip gyrations it would be impossible to have a bad day. Good match. I think Enzo getting hurt kind of threw a wrench into the plans and the entire tag team tournament build up seemed a little underwhelming with this as the end game. I do like the Vaudevillains... they're still a little green in the WWE but have been progressively getting better. I think their whole throwback shtick is a little weird but whatever. Very glad New Day retained, you have to keep the belts on them while they're still red hot. Maybe, that will change once Enzo gets back (which I think was the plan before he got hurt?). By the way, Sheamus is Rocksteady in the new Ninja Turtles movie? Not sure if that makes me want to see it more or less... Score: 6.5/10 ![]()
Fatal 4-Way IC Championship: The Miz vs. Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
Finally time for something EXTREEEEMMME!!! Only took an hour and a half. Awesome start by the way… KO and Miz just booted out of the ring immediately. BOOYAKASHA! The Intercontinental 'division' has been on FIRE recently thanks largely to the Zayn - Owens sub-feud. And Cesaro being back definitely helps things. Seems like you can throw any combination of these guys together and they'll have a killer match. A great WrestleMania-worthy match, with some amazing moves and feats of athleticism. The Sami Zayn - Cesaro flip-aroo towards the end was AWESOME! So was the 4-person body slam and Cesaro running an elbow train on three dudes at once. I LOL everytime the audience tries to count the number of times Cesaro swings someone around. It's always off by like a million. Not that I had high hopes for New Jersey. A little disappointed Miz retained since you had not one but THREE other opponents who would have been great choices depending on the story you wanted to tell. The WWE gave it to Ryder for 24-hours but won't let Zayn have it AT ALL!? Great match though, and quite possibly my favorite match of the night next to the main event. Score: 9/10
Asylum Match - Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose
I am so glad this didn't turn into another Ambrose/Lesnar kendo-stick tickle fight. There were some great spots, cage smashes and 'weapon' beat-downs in this one (If you consider a mop and bucket weapons). I could listen to dad-bod Jericho talk smack all day. My only complaint about this match was the pacing. The match started slow and dragged on a bit too long. I think if they cut the time in half and kept all of the same spots it would have been a killer match. I can't believe they actually let Ambrose smash Jericho into the tacks and draw blood. It was such a tease when they kept hovering over them reversing each others holds. I was like "Nahhhh they won't let him do it, PG era bro". But I'll be dammed if Jericho didn't sell getting impaled by those tacks like he was dying a slow-death! Unlike the Ambrose-Lesnar match, they used almost all of the 'weapons' provided (the exception being Mitch Jr. the plant which baffled me), even the stupid idiot mop/bucket. Turns out the tacks were in the bucket. Sneaky bastards. Score: 8/10
WWE Women's Championship Submission Match - Natalya vs Charlotte
Going into this match I didn't think there was any chance in hell they would put the belt on Natalya. That being said I had my hopes up that Charlotte would actually win a clean match for once... you know with Ric banned from ringside and everything. I was right about Natty at least. The match itself was one of the better matches on the card. Charlotte with the moonsaults and Natty with the crazy surfboard submission... These ladies are gifted athletes to say the least. The women's division in general has been delivering sneaky good matches over the last few months. I think it's just a matter of time before the WWE Women's Championship becomes THE headlining PPV match. But here we go again with the interference/run-in/distractions. Why on earth can't Charlotte win a clean match? Does the WWE really want their women's champion to be someone who can't even win a match on her own? Doesn't seem like they're sending the right message. Score: 7/10 ![]()
WWE Heavyweight Championship - Roman Reigns vs. A.J. Styles
Ahhh do you see now WWE?!?! DO YOU SEEE?! See what happens when you don't give Reigns a microphone and let his wrestling do the talking! For once the main event was arguably the best match of the night. A.J. Styles was his usual phenomenal self, and these two just DESTROYED each other for 20 minutes. Just an awesome back and forth between the powerhouse style of Reigns and the agility/ninja moves of Styles. The match spilled into the crowd, onto the pre-show glass desk (which unfortunately didn't shatter, was it supposed to?) through barricades and several announce tables. Killer. I especially loved the delayed reaction table Styles got power bombed through... like the table forgot it was supposed to collapse and then went "Oh shit, my bad!" Great match. The false finishes, the ineffective run-ins, the mid-air spear to end it all. Now THAT'S how a championship match should be. Roman retains, for now...Because...
FINALLY! SETH ROLLINS! HAS COME BACK! TO THE W. W. E.!!!!!
I'm curious to see how this plays out. Face? Heel? End of the Roman Empire? Yes plz. Buckle up boys, the Architect is back.
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