Remember planking? Back in 2009/2010 planking or 'the lying down game' was the latest and greatest trend. You would lay down face to the dirt with your arms by your side and your body completely stiff like a 'plank' of wood. The goal was to plank in weird, unusual or sometimes dangerous locations. People legit died for the cause. It was one of the first viral-like games I can remember being a part of. And I'll be dammed if I didn't participate! So, here are my top ten planks from back in the day. Number 10 - Train Tracks Yes I checked for trains and no there wasn't one coming. That steel rail tasted like a mixture of dried blood and tin foil. Number 9 - Shopping Cart This one was an absolute bitch to get on to. Kept rolling away whenever I tried to climb on. Eventually had to climb into the cart from the trunk of my sick 4-cylinder automatic transmission Hyundai Tiburon. Terrible ponytail. Number 8 - Car Wash Who's been a dirty boy... Number 7 - Sepia Plank Dat Instagram filter doe! Just beautiful ambiance. Soak it in. #latergram Number 6 - Parking Garage Not gunna lie this one scared me a bit, hence only the second floor. Not a huge 'heights' guy. Number 5 - Caught in a Mosh Pit Nothing screams heavy metal like a good old fashioned middle of the pit plank. Pile on bros, pile on. Number 4 - Plank on a tank If you leave a tank in the middle of my neighborhood, I'm going to plank on it. Also 'plank' and 'tank' rhyme which made for a sick Instagram caption. Mad likes. Number 3 - Awkward friend plank How uncomfortable is Timmy... I'm in deep upper thigh territory. Many will enter, few will return. Number 2 - The Human Speedbump Not the safest idea. I did have some spotters. We all did dumb shit when we were 22. Number 1 - PLANK VEGAS! (featuring shameless Instagram plug)
The moving sidewalk plank en route to the Bellagio. It doesn't look that impressive here, but I rode that bitch from start to finish. I'm guessing it was about 100 feet or so. Such passion, such emotion, such core strength.
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