I'm not a huge 'heights' guy and you probably wouldn't find me casually strolling through city parks at 2:00am, but things like snakes, spiders, elevators, public speaking and other typical 'scary' stuff doesn't really bother me much. That being said, it seems like the things that do end up making me jump are always the things that don't actually physically exist. What do I mean? Creepy videos, movies, and video games. Here are some of the video games and video game moments that are the reason I now double-bag underwear. Warning: **Minor spoilers if you haven't played these games.** Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem I was one of the 4 people who owned a GameCube, and when Eternal Darkness came out I HAD TO HAVE IT! It wasn't a very popular game but is now considered a cult classic (and a rare score). Part time-travel, part-hack n' slash, part RPG and entirely TERRIFYING. I mean this game had it all… nightmarish creatures that dripped puss and grunted, creepy dungeons, castles and houses, haunting music… and this might have been one of the first if not THE first game that actually went out of its way to troll you. In addition to your standard health meter, EDSR had something called a 'sanity meter' that slowly depleted due to certain in-game events, and if you didn't fill it back up, get ready for some weird shit to start happening. Random screams, ghost footsteps, dragging chains, your character starts walking on the ceiling, a big ass group of monsters appears out of nowhere only to disappear again. And here's the best part… the game went Deadpool on you and broke the fourth wall. Yep. We're talking TV volume adjustments, a fake blue-screen-of-death, a message telling you your save-file is corrupt. The whole nine. What a blast being simultaneously scared shitless and furious that you lost your save data. I'll post a video of all the different sanity effects below. It really is an underrated game. Grab a copy if you can and give it a whirl. I have one if you want to come over. F.E.A.R. Subtle title. It stands for First Encounter Assault Recon, and as you may have guessed it's a first-person shooter. Essentially you're a member of a task force assigned to fight against paranormal beings… in this case A LITTLE PSYCHOTIC DEMON GIRL. Why…Why is it always a demon child? Never a demon adult, or a demon dog… freaking satanic creepy girls are the woooorsssttt. Jump scares? Check. Corpses re-animating? Check. Tables randomly flying at you? Check. Whenever you hear that static sound come across your radio a little poop comes out, because the red-eyed demon girl is about to squirt blood out her ear-holes three inches from your face. It's like The Matrix meets The Ring. You have all of these cool weapons, you can slow down time Neo style, but none of that matters because you're fighting a freakin' ghost. Oh and there's also a group of terrorist-like telepathically controlled super-soldiers who want to kill you. Their leader has psychic powers and I think he likes to eat people. Sweet. If you feel like dying 5 years earlier than planned give this game a shot. It spawned a few sequels that I won't be playing. ![]() The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time I know what you're thinking. "Wait what? Vic this ain't no scary ass game brah!" True, most of it was a light hearted romp through Hyrule… but there were some things that terrified my weak, innocent 12-year-old heart. 1) ReDeads. You know those awful brown mummies that shuffle around and paralyze you by SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER before jumping on your head and choking the shit out of you? Yeah those things. And when I say 'screaming bloody murder' I mean it. Like full on I'm getting stabbed in the streets of Baltimore. 2) The Shadow Temple. The whole thing. It's a giant freakin' torture chamber. And holy hell the creepiest creature of all time lives inside… I'm going to post a picture of it… aaaaaand my PTSD just kicked in. Look at that thing… LOOK AT IT! That's the face of death. White, creepy, toothy, shimmying, jiggly death. 3) Great Fairies. I know you're supposed to be like "Oh awesome I can get all of my health back!” But if you don't at least second guess the meaning of life when that banshee fires up out of that water there's something wrong with you. Good lord Nintendo, how is this game rated 'E' for everyone?!? Bioshock Welcome to Rapture. This game came out when I was in college. COLLEGE, and it still terrorized my existence. A bunch of my roommates and I got it and we legit had to play it with someone else in the room. No alone-sies. The atmosphere is a large part of what made it so creepy. You're in a giant underwater city full of psychotic robots and residents, originally built to be a utopian paradise… an escape from life at the surface. But what really tickled my piss-response were the Splicers. THESE EFFING GUYS! Hanging out in dark hallways waiting to sprint at you full speed. The best is when they would spider crawl across the ceiling and drop on you out of nowhere. That's usually when I spit PBR all over the screen. And again with the creepy little girls! WHAT IS IT WITH CREEPY LITTLE GIRLS?! Called 'Little Sisters', they often come paired up with a massive monster in a diving suit and drills for arms… great. If you end up defeating the giant drill man (Big Daddy) you have the option to either save the Little Sister or harvest (kill) them. You bet your ass I harvested every last one of those whores. The Original Scary Maze ‘Game’ I use the term ‘game’ loosely, but for our purposes I’m counting it. I’m talking about the OG scary maze game from the early 2000s that ends with a nice fat spoonful of disgusting zombie-witch face. Scared me half to death first time someone made me play it. And that was the worst part… someone who knew what was going to happen gets to sit there and watch you freak out and punch a hole through your monitor. You ever see that Simpson’s episode where Mr. Burns has every single disease at the same time so they all cancel each other out and he’s totally healthy? This scare was like that but with emotions. I felt all the emotions within a 3-second window. They all canceled each other out and I had nothing left to give. Left 4 Dead Any game with zombies is likely good for a few ‘AHH HOLY SHIT!!!’ moments, but there was one character in particular that scared (and still scares) the ever-living daylights out of my man meat. The witch. Scene: You’re in a pitch black room and you hear the soft weeping of a child. You click on your flashlight only to see a gaunt white figure sitting cross legged on the floor, head-down and swaying slowly. As you creep closer the vocal chorus gets more intense and the white figure starts crying even louder… closer…louder… a little closer… and then… “YEAAAAAAAAAHHHARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!” Ear-piercing scream as she sprints straight towards you Ultimate Warrior style and proceeds to shred the shit out of your face with her nasty pointy claws. Turn the lights off and watch the video. All kinds of nope.
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