I’m a Nintendo kid. Legendary game developer Shigeru Miyamoto came to Boston on a business trip back in 1986, knocked up a few chicks, and then I popped out. Jon Snow is to Ned Stark as Victor is to Shigeru Miyamoto. How many times can I say ‘Shigeru Miyamoto’ in the opening paragraph? Shigeru Miyamoto. Four.
Gaming is bigger and better than ever. Just go to PAX or E3 and see for yourself. The graphics, sound systems, storytelling and overall quality of games today makes the original NES Zelda look like it was created by preschooler who ate nothing but paint chips and huffed Elmer’s glue. This got me thinking… which games from my childhood would benefit from a reboot using today’s technological advancements? ![]()
Star Wars: Rogue Squadron
I’ve dreamed about owning a real TIE Fighter since I slid out of the womb backwards. I mean could you imagine instead of your first car at 16 years old you got a frickin’ TIE FIGTHER!!! Heading off to freshman year of high school like “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” Quite literally I had a blast playing this game and its GameCube successor. I needed to unlock all the ships, beat all the records, and blow up everything I could. Everyone who loves Star Wars dreams of flying the space ships around… but looking back on it the graphics are complete shit. It looks like you’re firing red hexagonal hot dogs out of a washing machine. And the voices… damn the voices. Like trying to talk with a mouthful of marbles and peanut butter. This game rebooted would be amazing. If you’ve played fighter squadron mode on Star Wars: Battlefront you can see the potential. Give me a full game with updated graphics and sound effects. I want all the ships. I want a butt-ton of unlockables. I want ship customization. I want a single player campaign. I want a Rebel and Imperial storyline. I want DLC. All the things. Give me the high school TIE Fighter I never had. ![]()
Pokémon Snap
Here’s the game you rented from Blockbuster and beat in one night. It was a dumb concept really. Glide around on a fixed track and take fake pictures of fake Pokémon that do the same thing every time? What?! But holy crapsticks was I surprised at how fun and addicting it was. Must…get…the perfect…picture… Bashing Pokémon in the face with apples is one of the most satisfying actions in video game history. And getting them lined up in ‘suggestive’ poses while you snap away and waste half of your film trying to get the perfect angle. Pokeporn: Gotta Tap ‘em All! A reboot would probably be hit or miss. If they somehow managed to smuggle all 12351653 Pokémon that now exist in there and make it more ‘open-world’ I think it could be pretty fun. This is more or less on the list for selfish reasons. I just need to know. Even if it pulls a Titanic, I need to know.
X-Men Arcade Game
If you’ve been in a Chuck E’ Cheese or local arcade (hey remember those!) you’ve most likely played or at least seen this beast. And what a beautiful dual-screen-boxy-ass beast it was. If I saved all the quarters I pumped into that thing I could probably buy my own island and chill with Sir Richard Branson. Nothing like a good old fashioned beat ‘em up trouncing around as your favorite X-Men characters pulling off super moves like Nightcrawlers’ teleport dash! Smashing Sentinels and taking names! Come to think of it, this game would hold up pretty well today. The graphics and voice acting were spot on for 1992. I’d be happy if they just ported this game to XBOX. Maybe add some more characters, a few costume changes, clean up the audio, throw in some levels based off of the recent films. More mindless fun please! ![]()
Pilot Wings 64
In a world full of violent, stressful, hemorrhage inducing video games it would be nice to have one that lets you just chillllllllllll brah. I present to you: Pilot Wings! What an underrated gem this was. Strap on a jetpack and just fly around popping balloons or say screw the mission and just go sightseeing. Maybe hang-glide into the side of a building or moon bounce across a carnival. So relaxing! What would be totally awesome is if in a reboot they recreated some iconic cities and locations you could just fly around at your leisure. Maybe toss in a few Scuba/underwater scenes. But please keep the human cannon. I really want to blast myself into the Great Wall of China screaming out something badass in Mongolian. ![]()
Turok
If you were ever male at one point in your life, you liked dinosaurs. Don’t tell me you didn’t. I was a big Pachycephalosaurus guy… one because I felt cool being able to pronounce it and two because that bitch just head-butted stuff when he got upset. I’ve seen Turok on a lot of other people’s lists as well, and for good reason. An FPS that involves a time-traveling hero running around hunting dinosaurs?!?! Endless nerd-gasms. There was an attempt at a reboot in 2008 but it stunk pretty bad. Trust me I tried it. I don’t want to give up on this franchise because the concept is so simple and brilliant. Imagine something like Call of Duty meets Halo meets Jurassic Park. If a studio could nail down the gameplay and mechanics it would be AMAZING! So much potential! The campaign, the weapons, the multiplayer gameplay! How about a mode with two teams: humans versus dinosaurs!!! Sign me up. How about a version of the game for the new virtual reality headsets they have coming out? You hear the sound of some leaves rustling around behind you, whip your head around and BOOM! RAPTOR ATTACK!!!! Man oh man, I’d have to wear a bathing suit and stand in kitty litter just to play. ![]()
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