Wow, sick chain and bandana under the hat combo. Straight gangster. Sadly that's an actual picture of me in 2010. I think it was a joke? 90% sure. Someone please confirm. In a desperate attempt for blog material on a lazy Wednesday, I decided to do a bit of time traveling. I warped myself back to the early days of Facebook to take a look at 19-23 year old Vic status updates. I was not disappointed. Jesus. Thanks Mom. Anyone need a baby liver? Either that or I hacked/created Facebook as a zygote. Womb-Vic likes this. Actually, you were rolling on 16's that belonged to a barf-green 1998 Ford Taurus on a budget diet that consisted of Ramen noodles, Insta-Mac and Jose Ole Taquitos. #baller I was the only one at that party. 100%. Umm. What? For those of you who don't know, that's referring to the first tattoo I ever got… the infamous tribal hammerhead shark. Here's what it should have said: Tattoo looks MEH! Dude traced it and still kinda screwed it up, he's not greatttt... You know like studying, being awkward around girls and playing intramural flag football. Insane, looney, party-school stuff. Not much has changed in 6 years really. I wonder what the context was here. This makes zero sense to me. Especially because of the lack of any capitalization or punctuation. Can't even chalk it up to being drunk because I didn't drink until I turned 21. Can't imagine actually slapping a pelican would end well. Wait a minute… slapping the pelican… is that like choking the chicken?! Oh… Oh God... Pelicans. Cactuses (Cacti?). I was into some weird shit in October of 2007. So THAT'S what started the pelican/cactus fiasco! I was tripping on urinal cakes! There are some weird exotic chemicals in those things. Phew, I feel so much better now. Yeah, 23. Real old dude. Cuncel da Victor. Poor choice of words. I can only assume this was a 'Jersey Shore' reference. If you didn't know that you'd think I was heading down to the town common to expose myself to everyone and work on my sandal tan while gigging out with the band. Well two out of those three things happened, but I'm not telling you which ones ;)
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